Marshall's Birth Story

Well a month later I am just getting around to writing down his birth story.
So many people have asked why I went to the birthing center and the honest answer was after the miscarriage I did not want to deal with any of the doctors in Hutch. I had looked into doctors in Newton and Wichita but Gabriel was a little worried that the hospitals would be too far since generally my labors have been pretty quick.

I was really frustrated with my choices and remembered the birth center in Yoder. I was discussing it with a friend and her mom and they talked about how they really have never heard anything bad about the birth center. However, at the birth center there are no medicines! I didn't know if I could do it all natural! Well basically I didn't want to. 

So another friend mentioned that they give tours. So we scheduled one and meet with Lois one of the midwives. The feeling I had there was just peaceful. My birth's at the hospital were actually really great and that was what was holding me back but I know I didn't feel "peace" at the hospital and we were back to dealing with Hutchinson doctors!

So I sat on it for a little bit. I still had a few weeks before I had to go to the doctor. Gabriel was no help to me. He wouldn't tell me how he felt about it because he says giving birth is all my decision and he didn't want to push me into something that I really didn't want to do. But he did tell me he knew that I could give birth without the epidural. 

So I kept thinking back to the day of my miscarriage and I really didn't want to look at that doctor again or having have her touching my baby! Yes, I know there are other doctors but I have my babies in the early morning and I was afraid she would be the doctor on call! So I finally said you know I know a feel people that can't handle pain whatsoever and they gave birth without an epidural so I can do it too! And I called Lois and made my first appointment! (ps...Gabriel was totally on board for the birth center and was actually really excited!)

Prenatal care there was easy, fast, and great. Usually appointments were no longer then 20 minutes, I never had to wait more than 5 minutes to be seen, they were open until 8pm on some nights, and didn't make a big fuss when I brought the girls! They are certified midwives not doctors . One thing that was very different was that I never got checked to see if I was dilated until I was in labor.Which helped with the anxiety of wondering if the baby is coming! I was actually concerned about it and did some google searching and it is actually better not to be checked! Every time you are checked you are at risk for infections!

I started having contractions about 3 am Monday morning (August 10th). I told Gabriel he may not want to go to work and called the midwife. I have previously had contractions for like 24 hours before I was in real labor but I was paranoid about when to go in because I was positive for Group B Strep and had to have two doses of medicines 4 hours apart before I delivered. My contractions were consistent and staying around the same time which didn't ever happen with the girls so this is why I called my midwife. Basically I wasn't in "pain" yet and told her I would wait it out. I didn't want to go out there to have her say go home for awhile.(It is a 30 minute drive) So Gabriel said I have one thing to do at work and I will come up at 9am. Well at 8am the contractions just stopped. Gabriel was so disappointed! 

Well I was trying to do everything to get them started again that I wore myself out! So I had to take a nap and I made Brigitte take one too which was a horrible idea. Basically Brigitte only has to take a 5 minute power nap to stay up all night! So that night I couldn't get her to sleep and by 11 o'clock I was just done with fighting and told her to get in our bed. She finally feel asleep at 11:45 and my contractions started at midnight! Ugh! They were sharp contractions nothing like I had with the girls and I couldn't sleep through them like I did with the girls. I kind of slept between contractions but they were coming every 12-15 minutes. They started getting closer around 5 I think I called and woke my midwife around 5:30. We agreed to meet at 6:30 so Gabriel finished getting ready, I did one final sweep to make sure everything was packed (Gabriel packed the van Monday morning because he was a little excited!), and we woke up the girls. We dropped the girls off at my friends house, called the photographer,  and we were on our way. 

We got there a little after 6:30am and realized they there was another couple who had their baby the night before! Then I was happy he didn't come the day before! They do have two different rooms and they have had two women in labor at the same time but I was happy we didn't have to "share" the midwives! So after we settled in and Gabriel brought everything in she checked me for the first time and I about died when she told me I was only dilated to 3cm! I thought for sure I was a 5 or 6. But she assured me it was fine and I would for sure have time to get all the medicine I would need. 

So just a side note Group B Strep is harmless to the mother however the baby can get it as they are delivered and they can get pneumonia, meningitis, or an infection in the bloodstream. Basically all I had to do was get 2 doses of an  IV drip of penicillin 4 hours apart and it helps prevent it passing on to him. 

So those 4 hours we just waited and timed. They didn't really want me to try to get anything to progress until I got the medicine! 

Once I got both doses of medicine they broke my water and hoped for things to progress.... This didn't happen too fast. Contractions hurt but they weren't getting stronger. I really didn't want to do much of anything. All I wanted to do was lie in the bed and cuddle with my pillow. They were not really having any of that so Lois (my midwife) told me to try and eat and go for a walk.

Now I have to stop and tell you about this last picture. Gabriel got a kick out of this shed here. It the back it has two horse stalls. Remember this birth center is in an Amish community and about 40% of their clients are Amish!
So I am having contractions that I can't talk through and want to curl up into a ball with but still nothing was really happening. 

Next we tried the yoga ball! I really wasn't a fan of it. Which made me sad because so many people swear by it and I used it through out my pregnancy but in labor it was just not comfortable! 

Just another side note...Gabriel is on a phone in many pictures but I promise he is just timing all my contractions not playing on it! And my yoga ball cover is from my cousin! They are for sale on Etsy! 

And then more waiting ...

Then they kicked me outside again to get some fresh air and then back on the yoga ball. 

Lois I think was getting concerned they that my contractions weren't getting worse so she hooked me up to a breast pump for nipple simulation. I did that for an hour and by now I am beyond exhausted. I can't keep my eyes open and all I want to do is sleep! I think she could tell I was getting tired and needed to get things moving so we moved into the tub. 

I don't know how long I was actually in the tub but it didn't seem like too long before the contractions became extremely painful. Lois was amazing (she has delivered over 3,000 babies! She knows what she is doing!) and I think she could tell by the look in my eyes where I was in labor! She kept asking if I had the urge to push and I kept saying I feel it coming but not yet. I think it took 3 contractions and then all of a sudden it started! I am not sure if it was the pump or the tub that got it going but I do know I was really able to relax in between contractions in the tub. So finally I wanted to push but I also did not want to move. My body got so heavy and I had to get out of the tub I thought there was no way I could get out! So we had to wait for a contraction to stop and move as fast as we could before the next one came!

Well the next one came quick and I made it to the toilet. I sat and pushed on the toilet! (I know it sounds gross but sitting in that position and gravity helped!) In the mess of everything I had Lois watching for the baby, a nurse getting me out of my wet clothes, and the other midwife getting me into a gown. My midwives were a little worried I was going to deliver on the toilet (which I didn't want to happen!) so I did get enough energy to move to the bed! Also at this point for some reason Gabriel disappeared to me! I am sure he just got pushed aside for a moment while they got everything ready.
Let me stop and tell you about my photographer! I had seen her work before and thought it was amazing so when we decided to go to the birth center I also decided since going to the birth center to have a baby is a lot cheaper than the hospital I said we could "afford"it :D
She was amazing as you all know by the pictures. Gabriel was a little skeptical about it because he is more about "just us" there when we have our babies but honestly she was so good I didn't know she was there half the time. I am sure Gabriel did but I had no idea where she was most of the time.

Now I have no idea how long I pushed while I was on the bed but it felt like an eternity! I felt like I couldn't breathe I was in so much pain. Everyone was trying to motivate me but I just didn't have the energy. I have been up for about 24 hours no with no real sleep! The only thing that got me to push was the fact that it hurt so bad! I had read a few books about relaxation and what to do to make the experience bearable but that all went out the window when the pushing started! I could handle the contractions but when it came to pushing I really thought I couldn't do it!

I really should have asked more people about their natural birth experiences! Everyone I talked to was like "it hurts like hell!" Well no duh! I knew that but I think if I would have heard the stages that people went through I would have been able to realize how close I was to holding him!

After a few pushes I really thought he was stuck and began thinking what in the world are they going to do if they can't get him out!? Lois just kept telling me to push but really wasn't saying if I was "pushing" him out!  So I didn't think he was coming out! I knew his head was there but I couldn't feel it moving. Then I don't know why this work but she said "push through that ring of fire." For whatever reason it all clicked for me and I recognized that feeling and two pushes later he was out! Holy freakin' crap! I am not a fan of the "ring of fire!"

Holy crap that was the worse pain ever! And even after the baby is out the placenta still needs to be pushed out and guess what that hurts too! Why did no one mention that? Now I am really glad I waited to write this because right after he was born and he was on my stomach I was thinking there is no way I would do this again. I was actually angry! I didn't have the high endorphin's that I did with the girls. 

He didn't cry and then that is when I finally looked at him and my heart stopped I think for a moment. Everyone was rubbing him and pinching his feet to get him to scream but he started whimpering so this is when my heart started beating again and I knew he was alright. We never really did get a cry out of him. It was a louder grunt and I guess that was as good as we were going to get!

I was so exhausted I couldn't hold him and as you can see in this picture I couldn't even hold my own head up! I still didn't even want to move. He is on stomach and I honestly did not want to even look at him. I am not sure if it was emotions or just from being so tired. This in turn made me mad at myself. Brigitte's and Violet's birth experiences were so great and I was so happy when I held them for the first time. I was mad that I was not having this experience and thought that I had made the wrong choice by doing it natural!

After I delivered the placenta and I realized the pain is done I begin to get my emotions in check however I am shaking uncontrollably! Sometimes after I get sick or really scared this happens but I thought it was really weird it was happening after labor and I was worried that something was wrong. Lois kind of chuckled and said "Oh, you really have the shakes don't you!" They got me some warm blankets and the shakes slowly started to stop. I think my legs were shaking for over an hour after he was born.

We did wait to cut the cord until it stopped pulsing which took longer than I expected!  This is when I finally "woke up" and met the son I had been dreaming about for nine months. He grabbed onto my finger and since than I haven't wanted to let him go! He is a "mama's boy" for sure! There is a different bond I feel with him then I have felt with the girls. I didn't get "baby blues" this time around so I haven't had the weird emotions of being mad that he is hungry and not letting me sleep or crying for no reason. I think I love him a little more because I didn't get the blues :D

The birth center does things so different than what happened at the hospital. While laboring I basically could do whatever I wanted. Plus I could eat! After he was born was when I realized this place was so much better! The part I loved most was that they didn't let me see him, give him a kiss, and then rush him off to be cleaned. I have no idea how long we sat and held him, it was awhile I know. I think they picked him up after they cut the cord and rubbed him down with a towel and then gave him right back to me! I think this is why he has such soft skin! He was so smooth and his skin was so clear. 

 After he was all rubbed down!

This picture makes me laugh a little because this is the first time I probably "saw" him! I am blind. I mean really blind! (My contacts are -8.5!) This is how close he had to be for me to "see him clearly!"

Then everyone kind of stood back for awhile while we admired him!

 It had to be about an hour after he was born but maybe it wasn't that we weighed and measured him. He came in at a whopping 6 pounds 10 ounces! My smallest baby yet! And 20 inches long! And yes, what we weighed him with is the same thing you weigh a fish with!

I labored a total of 15 hours from the time contractions started to when he was born. Fairly normal I think but seemed like so long! We arrived at the birth center at 6:30 that morning and were on our way home by 8pm that night. Crazy right!?
I know that we will have at least one more child but I think I will need to "forget" some of my experience before I will want to get pregnant again. It wasn't really like anything I thought it was going to be like but I know it was the right choice! Gabriel repeated so many times how he liked the birth center so much better.
Honestly I think he liked it because he was more involved. Oh my goodness there is no way I would have survived without him. If it wasn't for him I literally think I probably would have died! He was actually supposed to pull Marshall out but I wouldn't let go of his hand! ha I have never felt that I needed him more in my life! I have never felt that close to him either. He was 100% their this time! With the girls he didn't feel needed so I told him to go to work one time and the other time we were moving the day I went into labor so he went and got the house ready! He was by my side the whole time. His voice and words of encouragement were so calming to me! I never once yelled at him "for doing this to me!" ha I didn't even have that thought cross my mind. The poor guy went all day without eating real food though. I brought snacks which he munched on some but he didn't want to leave! After Marshall was born and we were resting I finally looked over at him and said go get something to eat and this time he didn't argue! There is a burger joint just a few blocks down the road so he didn't have to go far!
Another reason why we love having a photographer there was she really captured all the big moments! With the girls once we were at the hospital everything is a blur. With Marshall we have moments frozen in time! Kalene you are amazing! Thanks for capturing our perfect day!

 This is one proud daddy! He really couldn't contain his excitement for a son!

It is amazing how your world changes so quickly with a new baby! You thought your life was perfect the way it was and then they show up and they made it more perfect!

All photos were taken by Kalene at Blue Muse photography! Thanks for being their the WHOLE time. I know we didn't think it was going to take this long but I know you love doing it too!